Night time

As I was flying over the US of A on my way to Delaware, I realized that I much prefer the night time to day time. But then I wondered, does that mean that I love darkness? Darkness isn't usually associated with goodness. Should I like night better? Shouldn't I like light? But then, I quickly had another realization. The reason that I love night so much, is that it accentuates the night.

The glory of the moon and twinkling stars wouldn't exist without the darkness of the night. Without the bad in our life, we wouldn't appreciate the goodness. Opposition is so frustrating, but oh-so important. So I am grateful for the night and its mystical darkness, that I might more fully enjoy the brilliance of light.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Flash

Whenever I watch musical flash mob videos like these

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr-0n1oGG8E


I almost start to cry. I don't know why, but tears well up in my eyes, my hair stands up, and my heart pounds. There is something about music bringing the world together. Young and old, male and female, republican and democratic, etc. - All of them come together to create a magical moment. Someday, I will participate in one. And when I do, I know it will make a difference. It is the little, crazy joys - like flash mobs- that make life worth living.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

A Rose by Any Other Name

Three hours of pure emotion = BYU's fantastic production of Romeo and Juliet. The movement, the characters, the set - it was all so dramatically wonderful. I think I inhaled beauty.

After a discouraging week, I headed to the theatre by myself. The intense emotions refreshed my spirit and filled me with energy. Concerts, plays, musicals, anything where human expression is key - they all bring me great pleasure.

In my culture, the LDS culture that is, we emphasize the importance of moderation in all things. While this may be good when it comes to things like icecream, video games, or spending money, what would we do without those artists who are not afraid to express themselves way beyond moderation. Too often, I find myself holding back, fearing what other people think of me. But the reality is, how does one survive in moderation. If we refuse to be passionate, what is left in this world. Without passion, what are we? Humans monitor themselves and watch their steps. It keeps us so busy, that we forget the essence of who we are. We forget that there are real, passionate beings underneath our shell of self-consciousness.

That's what I loved about Romeo and Juliet. They didn't waste time watching their steps. They took risks. They felt so deeply and passionately expressed those feelings. And as a result, they gave life to the human beings in the audience. I am grateful for those artists who take risks and express. They make me feel real. I hope to be one some day.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Clara

Robert and Clara Schumann were a musical couple. They both composed, and Clara was a concert pianist. Unfortunately, Robert was mentally unstable, so Clara had to tour and give many concerts to earn money for the family. Robert also wanted children. So Clara also raised seven children and eventually some grandchildren. Clara was a strong, talented woman, devoted to her husband and children. In Robert's journal he writes of Clara:

"..to have children, and a husband who is always living in the realm of imagination, does not go together with composing. She cannot work at it regularly, and I am often disturbed to think how many profound ideas are lost because she cannot work them out."

I think motherhood is a worthy cause. I truly do, let's get that straight.
But as I read this quote, I thought about life in general. Too often, we find ourselves centered on work - housework, homework, workplace - work, work, work. With all of the to-do lists (trust me, I know to-do lists) and errands, it's easy to let profound ideas flow in one ear and out the other. Imagine the impact of 10 solitary minutes to think, to expound, to create. I think it could transform the quality of our lives.

At the end of my life, I don't want my head to be stuffed with brilliant ideas that I neglected to develop, share, or create. So, I will take my ten minutes and think. Thank you very much.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Weak Things

Everyone is challenged on a daily basis. Setbacks are hurled at us in every direction. Opportunity for discouragement and depression abound. A combination of all of these hard things often make it seem as though we are weak. It is easy to feel weak-emotionally, physically, spiritually, or mentally - in today's world. After a long day, it seems as though the time gobbled me up. I wonder, how am I supposed to make it through several more decades when this one day kicked my trash? It is easy to say, I am weak. I read this scripture the other day:

"To their astonishment, the city of Noah, which had hitherto been a weak place, had now, by the means of Moroni, become strong...."

I thought for a moment, and then I decided that by the means of Jenny McKay, weak things will become strong. We are all weak in some way or another. The challenge is looking over these setbacks to find the strengths and talents that abound in each of us. If we could all be the means of finding strength in a time of trial, then we could conquer the world.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Donut

A few weeks ago, in church, we sang a hymn. I know, it's hard to believe. And of course, some lyrics caught my eyes:

"May union, peace, and love abound,
and perfect harmony,
And joy in one continual round
Through all eternity."

I liked the imagery of joy being one continual round. Neverending. Infinite. Continuous. Joy. That is what life should be - one continual round of joy. Hardships abound, and errors constantly occur. But nothing gives us enough reason to live without joy for even one second. My choir director, Sister Hall, talks about how often she eats a delicious meal without really enjoying it. Life is full of rich deliciousness if we are conscious enough to notice it. Every moment can be joyful. Every bite of life is filled with sweetness just for our enjoyment. So often we forget that is what life is about. Life isn't about getting done. Life is about savoring every, last, joy-filled second. Life is basically an endless donut - a continuous round of joy.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Minutes

Justin Roberts writes kids songs. One of my favorites is called "Minute" and it only lasts 60 seconds. It is about those moments that mothers say "Just one minute" and kids know that it is never just one minute. One line in the song struck me:

"We're all just minutes."

I am approximately 10,467,600 minutes. We are all just minutes. Our grandparents are many, many minutes, while our baby brothers and sisters are very few minutes. But all life is, is minutes. It doesn't make a difference how many minutes we live. The only thing that matters is that we fill those minutes until they are overflowing. When you think of it that way, it is hard to believe that we fill so many minutes with anger, frustration, gossip, and grudges or computers, head phones, and texting. In an examination of my life, I find I fill my minutes with too much worry. Instead of picking up the flowers of joy and smelling them, I just trip over them and leave them for someone else. I must make it a point in my life to replace worry with wisdom, jealousy with joy, and laziness with love. So, think about it. How do you fill your minutes?

And that's what Jenny thinks.

I owned that

I am a singer, leader, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, niece, etc. I am so many things. And in wearing all of these hats, I do many things. One thing that is most important to me is ownership. Taking ownership over what I do is very important to me. Every song I sing, every project I create, every relationship I develop - I strive to take ownership over them.

For a long time, I have struggled to find my career path. Unfortunately, I enjoy a large plethora of activities, so my decision is not so easy. Music? Leadership? Something else? WHAT? My uncle called me the other night and said the words I needed to hear. He basically told me he was proud of me and that I will accomplish great things no matter what direction I choose. Thos were words I needed to hear as well as these ones...

Georgia O'Keeffe very wisely said,

"Before I put brush to canvas, I question, 'Is this mine? Is it all intrinsically of myself? Is it influenced by some idea or some photograph of an idea which I have acquired from some man?'"

So, I got to thinking. It honestly doesn't matter what I do, as long as it is mine, as long as I own it, as long as iti s "intrinsically of myself." It gives new meaning to the statement, "You owned this or that." When I am through with this life, I want to look back and confidently say, "I owned that life."

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Evaporation

I recently visited a very modern art exhibit in Santa Fe. It included dozens of artistic films and videos. Some were a little strange and inventive, but there was one that caught my attention. It was a continuous video of an artist painting a man's face with water on the sidewalk. By the time the artist had finished the face, the first half had already evaporated away. The face was constantly deteriorating while the artist was continually reconstructing it. The simplicity of the message was as poignant to me as a jalapeno.

Are we not the face? Constantly deteriorating as we face every challenge and trial the world has to foffer? Are we not the artist? Continually finding the strength to reconstruct and improve ourselves?

As hard as it might be to travel day to day, week to week, year to year, and somehow we must find the courage to continue - the courage to continue improving and reconstructing ourselves. Our job, as artists, is never complete. If I am stagnant, I know I will quickly evaporate. The only way we can complete our picture is with patience, determination, and endurance. If I can do that, I know I will create a masterpiece.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Georgia

Never before has an art exhibit so fully engulfed my spirit as it did on August 15th, 2010. My visit to the Georgia O'Keefe Abstraction Exhibit was magical. I'm not exactly sure why, but I connected to this exhibit more than any other art I've seen. In my struggles to write down every word and picture that tickled my heart, the most angelic security guard walked up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, and handed me a packet full of the quotes included in the exhibit. I almost cried right then and there.

As I breathed in every abstract painting and gobbled up every sage quote, I felt connected to Georgia O'Keeffe. Her images and words sunk deep into my soul. I felt like I knew her. I felt like I was watching her create these masterpieces. I felt as if she was holding my hand and describing what each painting meant.

I felt as if we were old friends. She sums up very nicely how I felt:

"If I could put down accurately the thing that I saw and enjoyed, it would not give the observer the kind of feeling it gave me. I had to create an equivalent for what I felt aobut what I was looking at - not copy it."

All I'm saying is that I could feel it. And I hope everyone can experience something like this at some point in their life.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

It's Almost Like Magic

This last month, I have experienced magic like never before. Many times, I get this feeling - a feeling that rushes through me and leaves my heart pounding. This feeling makes the hairs on my arms stand at attention. My stomach tingles as I try to decide to cry or laugh. A giant smile sneaks from my toes to my face. It completely overwhelms my being. I don't know how else to define it, so I am going to call it "magic."

Those who know me, know that I love all things magical - Disneyland, Harry Potter, the Gospel, Christmas, etc. my appreciation and understanding of magic has grown in ways I never though possible. Over the last few weeks, I have determined the recipe for magic.

M A G I C = C O N N E C T I O N

Connection. That's all there is to it. when my body is left with the overwhelmingly magical feeling, I look back at what happened two seconds before, and I always find a connection. Connection to words, connection to music, to people, to art, food, the spirit, knowledge, wisdom, God, and every other possibility. I see magic moments unveil before me every day. I see children learning new facts, hearts stirred by powerful music, and one person listening to another's tales.

Harry connects with his wand. Peter Pan connects with his happy thoughts. Santa Clause connects with the world. Just like these three connect, I connect, too. I connect with wonderful people. I connect with amazing music. I connect with meaningful words. Daily, I am making millions of connections. I am making magic. We are all magic makers.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Superheroes

10:00 am Saturday - I was preparing for an opera masterclass. My nerves were slowly rising from my stomach to my chest. I had to do something to prevent my heart from exploding. So naturally, I made a quick playlist. The playlist wasn't extensive. It just included three of my all-time favorite albums. These three never fail to comfort me in a time of need. As I was thinking about these three albums, I realized my brothers' influence on my musical tastes.

Album #1 - Oldest brother, Dave, introduced me to this favorite - Mika, Life in Cartoon Motion
Album #2 - Second oldest brother, John, introduced me to an awesome kids that I love dearly - Justin Roberts, Meltdown
Album #3 - Third oldest brother, Jake, introduced me to my favorite band and another comfort CD - Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband, Dream Big

I love my brothers so much. It is wonderful to find their influence on me, because I feel blessed to have been influenced by them. I see their influence everywhere - the choices I make, the things I enjoy, the music I listen to, the things I do.

I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, but I think sometimes we take siblings for granted. And I don't ever want to do that. I will try to never take for granted the influences God has blessed me with.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Rock on

This semester I am taking Geology 101. Despite what you may be thinking, it is actually one of my favorite classes so far. The teacher is great and he makes learning about dirt really exciting. This week we learned about layers. A Mr. Hutton, an old, dead geologist, discovered the geologic principle,

"The present is the key to the past."

The layers of rock we see today teach us about the past - what living organisms were on earth, how old the earth is, etc. As I was thinking today, I thought, "I am a rock."
It's true. I am a rock. Life has taken me through landslides, peaceful rivers, volcanoes, and metamorphism. Some experiences help me grow, some wear me down, and some carry me to extraordinary places. Each one of them contribute to my character, my layers. What's on the surface may be deceiving, but with one slight peek beneath the surface, you will discover the layers. Layer upon layer adds brilliance, beauty, and individuality.

Often times, I wish the weathering and erosion would give me a break so I could breathe and enjoy the ride. But no matter how much I wish, trials never go away. And I guess I wouldn't want them to go away. Because it is during those rough times that we grow in experience and beauty. The Grand Canyon is nothing without weathering and erosion. I am nothing without trials and hardships.

I wish that I could peel back all of the layers of the people around me. I want to learn all about their life travels. Where did the volcanoes, rivers, and wind carry them? What caused them to become so beautiful?

Rocks and people all have a story to share. Let's listen and learn.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Dumb

I've learned a lot these last few weeks, and I'm trying to catch up my blog with all of my inspirational thoughts. At the BYUSA adventure experience, I truly learned so much. It was ridiculous. In a lesson, the teacher said this:

"I was scared. But the things I experienced... weren't scary at all. I was just being dumb."

One of my greatest flaws is that I kind find fear in almost anything. I fear what people think. I fear that I will have bad health when I grow up. I fear I will run out of gas in the middle of nowhere on the way to Idaho. I fear that I am not trying hard enough. I fear that I will fail. I fear. Period. When I am afraid, it overwhelms my whole body. I hate it. But I am slowly realizing that I could live in fear of everything, but that would be dumb. Plain stupidity. Yes, it is natural to feel afraid, but it is a choice. We can choose to conquer our fears and have faith. The two- fear and faith- cannot coexist. I know I can do hard things. God knows I can do hard things. He has faith in me, I have faith in Him, so I can have faith in myself and my surroundings and forget my fear.

Let's go. Let's forget our fears and move on. Let's jump over the fences of fear and graze in greener pastures. Without fear we can accomplish so much more. We can be who we were truly meant to be - divine human beings.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Stalactites

Last week, I had the opportunity to visit Minnetonka caves with the most amazing group of people - my BYUSA team for this coming year. The caves and the people are both important for this blog post.

Like most other caves, the Minnetonka caves contained hundreds of beautiful formations - stalactites, stalagmites, etc. Despite the chill and dampness of the caves, it was a beautiful to be there. It was amazing to behold a six foot stalactite that had been hundreds of years in the making. My amazement continued as I learned that most of the stairs had been created by men who were paid very little to do a excruciating, life-threatening job in almost pitch black. They sacrificed so much just so thousands could have access to the underground beauties. As we toured the various caves, we approached a stalactite formation that had been vandalized by boy scouts. They had knocked it off and tried to glue it back together to no avail. Another stalactite had a dark, mulchy coloring unlike the creamy, tan colors of the other formations. The guide told us that this is what happened to formations that were smothered in oils from human hands. The stalactite had been contaminated and couldn't grow anymore.

What a contrast. People who chose to preserve and protect and people who chose to vandalize and contaminate the formations. This is similar to our lives. Each day as we interact with different people, we have a choice. A choice to protect and preserve or vandalize and contaminate. Individuals, like rock cave formations, grow slowly, year by year, experience upon experience. It often takes humans so long to grow so little. Each inch of growth - spiritual, emotional, physical, social, etc - is very important. The time it took for us to come this far is easily backtracked. I think that it is important that as we interact with people we choose to preserve and protect their personal growth. Help them grow more. Don't smother them with criticism, negativity, insults, or ignorance. Even the casual remark, brief neglect, or forgotten smile can slow down the growth of our fellow men.

As I thought about this, I glanced at the 27 phenomenal students and the several coordinators surrounding me. My heart grew two sizes as it was filled with gratitude. I had known most of these people only 24 hours, yet they had all made the decision to preserve and protect me. They gave me the benefit of the doubt and loved me despite not knowing me. At that moment, I knew this year would be great. I was surrounded by people who wouldn't smother or vandalize my efforts to grow, they would only enhance my growth.

Let's choose today to uplift all of those who we may meet. Let us preserve them with a simple smile, encouraging words, or a bear hug.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Great Mercy

I've been thinking a lot about friends lately, and I have been hearing this hymn a lot. Very fitting.

Each life that touches ours for good reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow, what greater goodness can we know
than Christ-like friends , whose gentle ways strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs, we hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory, bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim devotion to the Savior's name,
Who bless our days with peace and love, we praise thy goodness, Lord above.

Now, I know you can read this and get a lot out of it. But I would just like to emphasize the truthfulness of this song. God blesses me so much by surrounding me with wonderful people. I am positive that I don't deserve these blessings, but I am so grateful for their words and deeds and the laughter and smiles they provide. There is no greater gift or goodness than my friends. They are all such wonderful examples to me in multiple ways - spirituality, kindness, courage, strength, confidence, happiness, care-free, I could go on forever. My friends, despite their religion or faith, strengthen my faith and enrich my days.

Sometimes, when I look back on people I used to be friends with, I get a bit sad. But it truly is a miracle. Friends leave an imprint on my heart. Even though many things can never be the same with people who lose touch, one thing is always for sure - they have left a sweet and hallowed memory in my heart forever. Even though friends may go separate ways, I can take comfort in the knowledge that I will hold them in my heart forever. Not only that, but memories of these wonderful people bring my closer to God.

I am a stress case. I worry a lot, and I drive myself completely insane. Can you imagine how crazy I would be if I didn't have friends to bring me peace and love. Friends provide for me a sanctuary where I can be myself and forget my worries and my strife. Friends=Hakuna Matata. I am not worthy of my friends. Truly, I praise God for sending me such remarkable people. I can't express my gratitude, but the lyrics to this song sum it up pretty well.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

At the ol' ball game

Today in church, I had lots of good, inspiring thoughts. This was one of them.

Life is a baseball game. You have a coach who knows what is best and is there to guide you. You play on a team made up of people you love. They support you in everything you do, even when you fail miserably. They cheer you on and encourage you. You have fans as well who you might not know personally, but from far away, they are impressed and you often motivate them to be better. You are on an allstar team, but there is also a pretty good team opposing you. They mock you in various ways (hey Batter! Batter! SWING! Batter! Batter!), distract you from what is important (the game), and they may even cheer when you make a mistake. There also may be hidden ruts in the field that trip you or slow you down. But despite the opposition, you are supposed to hit this really fast-moving ball, with a stick and run from first base, to second base, to third base, and then home again.

You see, life is a baseball game. We have a Heavenly coach who knows all and can guide us through anything. We have a team made up of friends and family, fans who may be our friends or who we may not know at all. There is always opposition whether it be temptations, Satan, being made fun of, etc.(Hey Batter! Batter! SIN! Batter! Batter!) We experience trials regularly like a rut in a field. We have tasks and missions set out for us that we must complete like a player must touch all of the bases before running home. And our ultimate goal is to make it home -home to our loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and our family for eternity. And when we make it home, it is like scoring a point for good, for righteousness.

Go team!

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Speaking

Nothing speaks more directly to my soul than music and lyrics. The combination of words, melodies, harmonies, and rhythm pulls my heart to the surface. My emotions become raw and unbelievably real. I can't quite describe it, but the song can always exactly describe my music. The floating melody, the blending harmonies, the words - all of them combine to perfectly define my being at that particular moment.

Some people can study and listen to music at the same time, but that is not a possibility for me. Music distracts me. Music overwhelms me and my mind floats elsewhere. There is no concentrating when there is music on. But I wouldn't have it any other way. The way music speaks to me is worth the sacrifice.

Just like someone who is learning a new language may understand the language better than they can speak it, I feel like I understand music better than I can speak it. Music speaks to me, but I can't always seem to speak its language as fluently as I wish. But you know, that's alright. I feel entirely blessed that music speaks to me so frequently and fluently. Someday, when I can speak music fluently, I will describe to you how it makes me feel.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is music speaks to my soul and often defines me at many different moments in my life.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Miracle

I love sports movies. Period.

There are very few things that inspire me more than a good sports movie i.e. Remember the Titans, Blindside, The Most Amazing Game Ever Played, and my personal favorite, Miracle.

For those of you who don't know, Miracle is a movie about the underdog 1980 Olympic USA Hockey team that became just that - a miracle. I can't just sit and enjoy movies like this. Nope. I have to have my pen and paper on my lap the whole time (that was when I wasn't eating the delicious brownies my mom made). But besides those few moments, I was ready to write down whatever inspiring quotes flew out of the characters' mouths. And they did. They came flying right out of the screen and onto my notebook. I have a whole page dedicated to this movie in my journal. Now that you caught a glimpse of how much I love this movie, I will move on.

In the movie, the coach says,

"This cannot be a team of common men. Because common men go nowhere. You have to be uncommon."

This statement fills me with a rush of inspiration and a rush of fear at the same time. One part of my brain is screaming, "YEAH!!! Let's do this. I am amazing and uncommon!" While the other half is silently making a list of things preventing me from being uncommon. Often times, it is lists like these that prevent us from going somewhere. Fear, self-doubt, and discouragement keeps us common.

The coach, speaking of the Soviet Hockey team says the following lines:

"You don't defend them, you ATTACK them."
"Screw 'em! This is your time!"

Let's not sit back and try to defend ourselves from our insecurities. Let's attack. Let's rip up the mental lists of faults and weaknesses and attack them. Let's throw away self-doubt and replace it with a vigorous belief in ourselves. Who cares about your faults? Who cares about your weaknesses? THIS IS YOUR TIME!!!! This is your time to go somewhere. And you won't get anywhere if you are common.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

People

Barbra Streisand made the song "People" from the show Funny Girl very popular. Here is a line from this wonderful song and then I will explain.

"People, People who need people are the luckiest people in the world."

After a tough week, the people around me blessed my life in so many ways. Blessings toppled onto my lap in multiple forms - pep talks, listening ears, icecream, movie nights, a phone call, an e-mail, jokes, reminders, etc. I would love the to list the amazing individuals that helped me this week, but it would just take to long. This only confirmed the truth that I need people. I NEEEEEEEEEEEDD people. Not only do I need people in general, but I also need one person in particular - Jesus Christ. He is my comforter. He is my light. He is my joy. He is my song. He is my life. He is my strength. He is my guide. He is everything. Without him, I couldn't be anything. But through him, I can become everything I ever dreamed of. And the best part is that Christ not only blesses me through scriptures, prayer, and guidance, but he also works through other people. And those people enter my life on a daily basis. And as a result, I am exponentially blessified. And that is why people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. I sure am lucky.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

P.S. I love you

I watched a chick flick this weekend - P.S. I love you.
It was okay. I was almost brought to tears once but I wasn't blown away by it as so many other females were. But it was pretty enjoyable. The best part was probably the delicious food my friend made for our girls' night.

Anyways, back to the movie. The title got me thinking. Shouldn't the words, "I love you" be the first thing we tell our loved ones, not the last. "P.S." to me almost seems like an afterthought or an "I almost forgot. "So saying P.S. I love you, to me, seems like saying "Oh and I almost forgot to tell you, I love you." I think love should come first. In the movie, Remember Me, the main character eats her dessert first. She says:

"I just don't see the point in waiting. I mean, what if I die while eating my entree?It's possible. What if I choke? What if an asteroid come hurling down onto the restaurant?... I'll tell you what, if you swear on your eternal soul that I'll make it through my entree, then I'll wait. But before you answer, consider that if something does happen, you'll have to live the rest of your life knowing that not only did you lie to me, but you denied of my one last indulgence. Are you prepared to shoulder that kind of responsibility?"

We should love first. What if someone you love died before you could tell them how much you cared for them? What if a friend moves away before you can tell them how you feel? That's why I think we shouldn't wait to share our love with others. It isn't worth waiting for. We all need love, why wait to share it?

These days, I feel like love is missing in the world. So many conversations are filled with complaints, gossip, and insults. We shouldn't waste our time with rude words, actions, or thoughts. Life is too short and precious. We need to be filling our moments with lovely thoughts, actions of love, and words of love. I will strive to fill my life with love. I know it will make a difference.
And that's what Jenny thinks.

P.S. I am on a blogging kick tonight, so there are two other new ones that I posted before this one. I apologize if they sound too rambly. I can't stop once I get going.

Into the fire

I think one of the hardest decisions I have to make on a pretty regular basis is the decision to not give up. I am constantly tempted to throw in the towel, to settle for mediocrity, to do something easier than what I am currently doing. I was telling a close friend of mine how discouraged I was and that I needed to gain some confidence if I was going to excel any further. In all his wisdom he replied:

You can't excel at all if you quit.

He was right. If we just run away from our fears, we won't ever accomplish anything. If we give up now, we have no chance of winning in the end. Yes, there is a lot of competition in the world. There are so many things opposing us. It is often hard to believe that we have a chance of winning. But we can't just forfeit the game. We must face our foes and if we fight with all of our might, we will conquer. In one of my favorite musicals, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Percy sings a song that goes like this:

There will always be a valley Always mountains one must scale There will always be perilous waters Which someone must sail
Never hold back your step for a moment Never doubt that your courage will grow Hold your head even higher and into the fire we go
Are there mountains that surround us? Are there walls that block the way? Knock 'em down, strip 'em back boys And forward and into the fray
Someone has to face the valley Rush in! We have to rally and win boys When the world is saying not to By God, you know you've got to march on, boys Never hold back your step for a moment Look alive! Oh, your courage will grow Yes, it's higher and higher and into the fire we go Into fire! Onward, ho!

So on that note, Onward, ho!!!!!!!!
And that's what Jenny thinks.

Go the distance

Overwhelming does not even begin to describe this past week. Overwhelming in two ways - terrific and terrible. My new job as a Grounds Office intern is terrific. I love the people, the work, and everything about it. My friends are also terrific. What would I do without them? Going to the opera with my mom = terrific. Eating almost all sweets on friday, a little terrible but mostly terrific. The gospel is also terrific. But making decisions, not so terrific. A dive into self-consciousness, not so terrific. A breakdown in my voice lesson, terrible. Feeling a bit lost, terrible. Wanting to quit, terrible.

I am very lucky because I have great friends that lift me out of the terrible and into the terrific. Another thing that seem to take the crap out of my heart and fill it with hope are words - especially in the lyric or script form (aka music, movies, and books). Some lyrics popped into my head today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6v_gOmVJ4I
(For an even better recording, google "Vocal Spectrum, Go the Distance" = priceless)

I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...
I will search the world
I will face its harms
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms..

I'm not usually a fan of using a whole song, but it seemed perfectly fitting. Life is hard. But I know where I am right now is where I'm supposed to be. I just have to have faith that every mile will be worth my while. I can only look forward, choose the right, and never give up. Like a shooting star I can soar above the world and do great things. I can do hard things. I can go the distance.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Alumni

Finally. My music for the 30th Anniversary Salt Lake Children's Alumni Choir arrived in the mail today. I about cried just looking over the familiar texts and melodies. For those of you who don't know, I was in the Salt Lake Children's Choir for 6 great years. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but I believe I owe a lot of myself - my friends, personality, major, passion, etc - to that choir. I would now like to make an abbreviated list of what I learned in Salt Lake Children's Choir
I learned...

1- to love eccentric people
2- to appreciate all kinds of music
3- practicing really does make a difference
4- How to sing really, really fast notes in a healthy way
5- how to make friends when you weren't allowed to talk
6- how to avoid Mr. Woodward's glare of death
7- music is a language all of its own
8- that I loved speaking in music
9- that I loved unbelievable harmonies
10- musical greatness comes with a great cost
11- how to sing in tune
12- how to sight read and sing
13- how to sing extremely difficult harmonies
14- you can't make good music if you are lazy
15- music can lead you to meeting the coolest people
16- I am capable of accomplishing hard things
17- music is a form of testimony

and much, much, more. No one can completely understand how indebted I am to this choir. Mr. Woodward and my peers taught me so much. What I learned here is irreplaceable. I only wish I could've realized it when I was still in the choir. Now, I can only rely on memories, thank you letters, and this alumni choir to make up for my regretful feelings. I seriously cannot express how much I owe Mr. Woodward, the choir's director. I hope some day I can repay the world by teaching others the same way "Chip" Woodward taught me.

"And as the days go by I'll not forget to sing
Tho seasons change and flowers fade from view;

For when we meet again, 'twill be a day in spring;
And I'll stay and sing another song for you.
And I'll stay and sing another song for you."
-Ralph Woodward

Though life is constantly changing, I know one thing - I will never - EVER - forget to sing. And that is all thanks to you, Ralph Woodward and the Salt Lake Children's Choir.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Haircut

Haircuts. I hate them. As a girl with curly hair, haircuts are never a good thing. But I needed one, so I spent Saturday searching for a salon to give me a haircut. Unfortunately the usual master of my hair was booked on Saturday so I had to find an alternate route. The alternate route I picked was the Paul Mitchell school of beauty.

I was scared out of my mind. Perfectly experienced hairstylists have disasterfied my hair before, I couldn't imagine what a student would do with my curls. I was risking my reputation and my self-esteem for a cheap haircut. ;)

Although it took an hour longer than it should've, it was totally worth the experience. I loved observing David, a student, learn new things. I could tell he was nervous, as was I. But that didn't matter. I was able to witness a human being learn a new practice and succeed. It was a beautiful thing - not my hair, silly, the learning. I loved watching David intently observe his teacher and then tentatively follow instructions. I loved watching his face brighten each time he accomplished a new task. I loved how proud he was of my hair when he finished. I wondered how it felt to watch one of your creations walk out of the salon. I'm sure he wanted to stick a label in my hair that said "David cut and styled this." I'm not trying to brag, but that was seriously the look on his face.

I know I am rambling a lot. I am just trying to express how much I love watching people grasp a new concept and then successfully put it to work. Oh, the joy of learning. I love it.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Albert

So, I watched yet another chick flick this week - The Young Victoria. I loved it. I actually didn't watch the end due to unfortunate circumstances, but I loved what I saw and what I learned. I was thinking for a while about how I could write this post without sounding obsessed with romanticism or chick flicks. After a few, long minutes I realized that if I tried to avoid sounding like that, I wouldn't be true to myself. Yes, I am a girl, and I heart chick flicks. But this one in particular stuck with me for one main reason - Prince Albert.

Now you may think that Prince Albert, the Young Victoria's interest, is just like any other ideal man in any chick flick. But I am here to tell you, he is not. In previous posts, I have expressed my belief in the power of women. And as much as I love chick flicks, I don't believe they show women at their best. They often present women as being weak, helpless beings, when in reality, they are not. We truly are powerful creatures. That is why I instantly fell in love with this movie. Victoria had power, and she took it and she owned it. She didn't shy away or reluctantly hand her power over to someone else. She owned her power. And Prince Albert only assisted her in this endeavor. He didn't try to manipulate her. He didn't try to take it away. He only encouraged, loved, supported, and believed in her. He patiently waited until Victoria realized that in order to be the best Victoria, she needed him. She wasn't completely helpless without him, but she was even greater with him. Prince Albert only magnified Queen Victoria's strengths.

Even though, we scoff at the idea of movies becoming a reality, I think this is how life should be. I believe that whoever we choose to spend our life with should be a Prince Albert. Someone who completes us, who helps us reach what we can't reach on our own. Not someone who does our reaching for us. Here is a little bit from this beautiful, powerful film:

Victoria: Do you ever feel like a chess piece yourself? In a game being played against your will.
Albert: Do you?
Victoria: Constantly. I see them leaning in and moving me around the board.
Albert: Then you had better master the rules of the game until you play it better than they can.
Victoria: You don't recommend I find a husband to play it for me?
Albert: I should find one to play it with you, not for you.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

What's in your room?

So, it is the end of Winter semester down here at good ol' BYU. I have been kicked out of my old residence (Heritage Halls) and officially moved into my new apartment. I love my new apartment, by the way. There is infinite space for food, a large desk, and a roommate that wakes up before me. That means that I don't have to worry about how many times I press the snooze button. YES!

As I was unpacking my boxes of books, clothes, shoes, and junk, it was fun to find a place for everything. Naturally, I placed my clothes in the closet. My electronics found a place in a drawer underneath my bed. My toiletries safely made it into their own personal drawer in the bathroom, and my books are hanging out in a nice shelf next to my bed. Already, my desk drawer is cluttered with pens, pencils, and notes.

Mission: Organization, complete.

But with one glance at my blank walls told me that I wasn't finished. My desk and bed were covered with framed pictures, inspirational quotes, rubber duckies, and other memorabilia. What was I going to display on my wall? It may seem trivial, but it truly was a difficult decision for me. After much contemplation, rearranging, and shuffling around, I had completed my self portrait.
The pictures on my desk and around my room include pictures of my brothers, my parents, my home ward family, last year's yearbook staff, my harry potter team, and my closest friends. On one wall, I proudly hung my Gryffindor House Crest. Above my bed, I hung my recent fingerpainting masterpieces as well as Alli's beautiful cartoon version of me. I chose 5 rubberducks to bring with me and place on my shelf. Next to my computer sits a beautiful picture of Jesus Christ with the words "Be Not Afraid." Whatever I display on my shelves, walls, and desk is a representation of my personality, my values, my life. You can tell a lot about a person by examining their rooms, don't you think? What would you think of me by looking at my room I just described to you? Would you think I was religious? childish? messy? The things that hang on my walls, sit on my shelves and decorate my desk define me. Just like some people don't wear certain apparel because it is not "them" I would never choose to display something in my room that was not "me." My room is important. It is probably the best way to get to know me without actually talking to me or reading my journal. I feel like my room is the closest representation of my heart and soul.

So, after thinking about all of this, I wonder, What's in your room? What defines you?

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Instincts

Humans are born with the innate ability and desire to create. It is sad to realize that some people let their unique capabilities melt away as they sit in front of blazing screens, exercising their thumbs, and constantly filling their ears with noise. The amazing technology that floods our daily lives is overwhelming. Although technology can aide us in the creating process, it also proves to be a stumbling block. I often find myself glued to facebook when I could be practicing or writing - to forms of creation I thoroughly enjoy. These days, we are faced with a new decision - to create or not to create. That is the question. Like many other things, it seems easier to let everyone else do the creating and sit back, and enjoy the ride. But when we let our natural instincts take over, amazing things happen. I have witnessed the fruition of beautiful meals, inspiring art, passionate poetry, and graceful movement all in my very own cinder-block apartment. That is just my apartment. Can you imagine what the world has to offer? Everybody has something to bring to the table, and that is the true beauty of the world.

It is humbling to know that we are made after the image of the master creator, for He made all things well. Did you get that? He. Made. All. Things. Well. Therefore, we have the potential to make all things well. I recently watched The Dead Poets Society. The teacher says,

"The human race is filled with passion."

We are filled with the passion to create, to become, to discover. As humans, we are constantly striving to find our own life. Whether it be music, art, science, english, leadership, friendships, organization, athletics, food, fashion, ANYTHING. The possibilities are endless. So, in the words of the same teacher,

"The powerful play goes on and you make a tribute of verse. What will your verse be?"

Choose to fill your life. Don't leave this earth empty. Fulfill the measure of your creation.
And that's what Jenny thinks.

Obsess much?

So, this week, I am a bit obsessed with the enchanting Rodger's and Hammerstein musical, The Sound of Music. I've watched it about three times in the last four days. I am sure it will be the topic of my blog for the next few posts. Some may call me obsessed, or crazed, or say I am going through a phase. But I am here to clarify -

I am not obsessed.
I am not crazed.
And I this is most definitely not a phase.

You may now be asking, "What brings about this need to clarify, Jenny?" Well, let me tell you. I've been thinking (imagine that), why am I so prone to becoming passionate about silly things namely, Disneyland, Christmas music, Harry Potter, Sesame Street, and the Sound of Music? I don't know why my stomach does a back flip every time I hear the word "Disneyland." I don't know why I love singing Christmas music all year round. I don't know why children's music fills my soul with joy. I don't know why. But I do know that there is something exquisite that connects me to these things and more. It is almost as if Walt Disney created Disneyland, J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter, and Julie Andrews played Maria all just for me. These wonderful inventions of the imagination fill my soul until it is overflowing, I don't see how there could be anything left for everyone else to enjoy.

If anything else, this realization has helped me understand others' and their seeming "obsessions." Angela Monet said:

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."

Early morning joggers, non-chocolate-eaters - they aren't crazy, they are just human. They are dancing to their own sweet tune. And that is what makes life so tasty - we all provide our own flavors, our own story, our own song. Our own life. Earl Nightingale said:

"The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us on the path to its fulfillment."

I can shamelessly share my passions with the world for their messages include:

"Follow Your Dreams"
"Good triumphs over evil"
"Joy to the World"
"Find yourself"
"Nothing comes from nothing"
"Dreams do come true"
"Climb every mountain"
"Silent Night"
"Embrace the simple joys of life."

I know that as I embrace my silly passions, each and every one of these statements will become a reality.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Blind

I've seen the movie, Blindside, three times now, and it never gets old. I enjoy it every time and learn something new at each viewing. This time the term "blindside" particularly stuck out to me. At the beginning of the movie, Leigh Anne describes the roll of the left tackle position in football.

"And the left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming.
To protect his blindside."

Now, I have so many blindsides it is unbelievable. I can't always see who's feelings I've affected. I can't always tell when I am singing incorrectly. and I can't always see the consequences of my decisions. But despite all of my blindsides, I know I have a faithful left tackle to protect me. In fact, I have many. I have a friend who protects me from discouragement. I have a friend who protects me from emotional constipation. I have a friend who protects me from sadness and makes me laugh. I have a teacher who protects me from demoralization. I have a mentor that protects me from disappointment. I have an adviser who protects me from perfectionism. I can put a unique face with each one of these descriptions, but truly, all I need is one face to encompass all of the protection I receive from a loving Heavenly Father.

Later in the movie, Leigh Anne says to Michael:

"You're going to take care of me, right?"
And Michael responds:
"I got your back."

I am so grateful that I can go to sleep every night knowing that someone has got my back. I thank God daily for the blessings of teachers, mentors, friends, and family.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

I am a Woman

I grew up with three older brothers. Therefore, being a girl didn't seem so cool to me. When I was younger, I consciously avoided mentioning anything to do with girls especially when my brothers were around. When on the playground, I always wanted to be one of the boys. As I was growing up, I don't think I felt a strong sense of girlness. I still tried to hide any evidence of girly habits. I was proud of the fact that I spent only 5 minutes getting ready each morning (in fact, I liked to mock those girls who spent more than 5 minutes). Once I hit my teens, I realized how far behind I was, but didn't really want to admit that I cared. I don't think I was very proud of becoming a woman. To me, becoming a woman meant caring a lot about how I presented my self, aka wearing jewelry, high heels, make-up, behaving gracefully, and not laughing at obnoxious boy-scout jokes. Why in the world would I want to grow up to be a woman if it meant doing those things?

To this day, I avoid high heels at all costs, I prefer not to wear jewelry (especially the sparkly kind), and I still find hilarity in the occasional boy-scout-like humor. The difference between then and now, is that I understand what womanhood is truly about. It isn't about heels, jewelry, and make up. Womanhood is about giving into our natural abilities and instincts to comfort, uplift, listen, and love.

After the BYU Women's Chorus concert this weekend, a friend told a girl in the choir,

"You women are so powerful."

And that was all he said. He couldn't have said anything truer. In our rehearsal after our concert, we spent the whole time exchanging experiences that our families and friends shared with us. And they also proved that we, women, not only touched audience-members with our musical prowess, but also with our calming spirits. It is so amazing to be a part of Women's Chorus - 180 women, united by a love for music and a love for each other. I am so proud to be to be a woman. I am a woman with an innate ability to love, care, believe, encourage, and uplift. I am a woman with divine powers. I am a woman.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Fortress - dedicated to Spencer

This blogpost is dedicated to Spencer Thomas Birth. He voiced his concern for my blog - I have neglected it for quite some time. To be honest, I was concerned as well. But, I'm back! Whether you like it or not.

So, in my American Christianity class last week, we randomly began discussing architecture and how each building has a message and a deeper meaning. We began to examine Latter-day Saint temples that we were familiar with. In particular, we looked at the deep architectural meaning of the Salt Lake temple. For those of you who don't know, the mormons endured trial after trial as they moved further and further West. They had to leave multiple homes and relocate after many instances of intense persecution. With that in mind, my professor asked us what the Salt Lake temple reminded us of. After a handful of responses, Professor Fluhman said something like this:

"Buildings don't just happen by accident. The Salt Lake temple is a castle, a fortress. It wasn't going to go anywhere. It says something when you build a castle. It was almost as if the saints were saying, 'We are Mormons. Hear us roar!'
"

This particular statement hit me. Especially as I began to develop this metaphor. In my church, we are taught that our bodies are temples. If our bodies are temples, then according to Professor Fluhman, no human being happens by accident. We all have a purpose here, we all have a statement to make, we all have something only we can do. We have the potential to build ourselves like a castle. But we have a choice. We can choose to be a wasteland of anger, misery, and sadness or we can choose to be a fortress of goodness, happiness, and righteousness. Each act of service, each time we refrain from gossip, each time we support a friend, we are fortifying our own personal castles. As our fortress of righteousness builds up, we have the power to combine against any trial that may come our way. Knowing that I am building my own fortress instills in me a power to keep fighting. I am a castle. I am a fortress. I am Jennifer Anne Marie McKay. Hear me roar!

And that's what Jenny thinks.

WALT

So this week, I made a really obvious connection in my mind that I hope you made a long time ago. If you haven't made this realization, I am glad to enlighten you, but saddened by the fact that you are not smarter than me.

Dream: 1- a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep; a visionary creation of the imagination
When you are asleep and dreaming, anything is possible. You can jump off a cliff and live, you can fly, the big bad wolf from red ridinghood can attack you, aliens can invade, or you can be a rockstar. Seriously, in our dreams, the word "impossible" is non-existent. And the best part about "impossible dreams is that they are so real. You are in the moment, experiencing the emotions, the fright, the exhilaration, or the heartbreak.

Dream: 2- a strongly desired goal or purpose
As I have been exploring myself and my options for the future, I have come to the realization that not only have I forgotten my dreams, but I have also forgotten how to dream. I will now rant about Disneyland: It is basically my favorite. My favorite part about Disneyland is the spirit- the spirit of anythings is possible, the magic of it all. This spirit is amplified exponentially in the "Remember, Dreams Come True" fireworks show featuring Julie Andrew's soothing voice. Within this show, Jiminy Cricket says this,

" I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that, about a wish coming true, do ya? Well I didn't either. You see the most fantastic, magical things can happen, and it all starts with a wish! You know, any wish is impossible. All it takes is a little courage to set it free."

I had lost the courage to wish, to reach for the stars, to DREAM BIG. I had focused so much on what was possible and forgotten that with courage and magic (my special kind of magic) anything is possible. This week, I have been filled with a renewed vigor to dream the impossible dream. The two definitions of "dream" do not need to be separated. I can make my fantastical, seemingly impossible dreams become a reality. My sleep dreams dwell on the verge of impossibility, and that is where I will place my real dreams. At this time, I choose to keep my dreams to myself, but someday, when they come true, and they will, I will let you know. I leave you with one last inspirational lyric,

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish, I wish tonight.
We'll make a wish and do as dreamers do,
and all our wishes, will come true."

In a tribute to Walt Disney, a man who made his and millions of others' dreams come true let us all find courage within ourselves to wish upon a star that our wishes may come true.
And that's what Jenny thinks.

Radiance

Last night, I felt particularly nasty inside - not physically, just mentally and emotionally. I stayed up late with my roommates in hope to get this nasty, tied up feeling out of my insides. Although it helped, I knew I needed something more. So today, as I was waiting for sacrament meeting to start, I prayed that might be comforted. I wanted to live this week like nobody's business, and I couldn't do that if my heart and mind were both out to lunch. I of course experienced drastic results. First of all, I have never learned so much in sacrament meeting. And second of all, I have never been able to appreciate sacrament musical numbers as much as I did today(no offense). The second musical number specifically impressed my heart - "Be Still My Soul." Really, the only lyrics I needed to hear were

"Be Still."

Those two words vibrated up my spine, and through my heart, and through my brain, and then back down my spine. It was so obvious. I needed to be still. My complete being needed to be still - body, heart, and mind. You see, I worry. A lot. You could define me as a worry wart. I worry about what other people think, natural disasters, throwing up, my health, my friends, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. When I worry, my mind is a swirly mess of thoughts, and my heart becomes bogged down. The party going on inside of my body distracts me from the important things in life. And I just need to be still. This sounds selfish, but I realized that what I really needed to do was stop worrying so much about others and focus on myself. Let me explain. It's like what Dr. Seuss said:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

By focusing on being the best me ever, I get rid of all self-doubt, therefore I can be more self-reliant, and that way I can more readily serve others. Elder Robert D. Hales said:

"Only when we are self-reliant can we truly emulate the Savior in serving and blessing others."

Not only will I be more capable of serving others, but I will also be able to truly enjoy the life God gave me and all he created for me. In an e-mail from my Uncle, he said this:

" Sometimes I found in my own life that my own insecurities and self-doubts got in the way of pure, unadulterated enjoyment of the moment in which I was living.... It was often what stood between me and happiness."

This truly is a wonderful life. And I only have so much time. I can't afford to waste that time worrying or complaining or judging others. I need to fill it with rich, flavorful experiences. And that is what God taught me with those two words. Morgan Freeman said,

"Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen - that stillness becomes a radiance."

And that is my wish for myself and everyone else. That we may each become "a radiance." I pray that my soul may be still, that I might fill my life with colorful gratitude for God's beautiful creations - nature, people, music, experiences - that I might not be dulled by the grey and blacks of worry.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Cheerleading

It is amazing how one can be among a crowd of people, and yet feel still alone. I experienced this at the Welcome Back Dance tonight. Unfortunately, most of my friends attending the dance found a strange enjoyment in dancing in Sweat and Body Odor central. No joke. So I found myself roaming around, adding yet another medal to my collection of People Watching awards. As I wandered to and fro, I thought about who I could hang out with after the dance, and eliminated everyone except for my brother and sister-in-law. And then it hit me like a bucket of water. The sadness rushed over me in a quick wave. They weren't here anymore. They moved to Alabama a week ago. Some of my dearest friends I could always rely on were gone, at least physically. I felt alone. Let me make this clear - I wasn't depressed, or lost, or feeling bad for myself, I was just locked into my own head. Among all of those people, no one noticed the bucket of sadness that had recently been dumped on my head. But I knew everything would be okay.
I knew because of a hymn I sung recently. Hymn # 243 to be exact - Let Us All Press On, third verse

"If we do what's right we have no need to fear,
For the Lord, our helper, will ever be near;
In the days of trial his Saints he will cheer,
and prosper the cause of truth.
Fear not, though the enemy deride;
Courage, for the Lord is on our side.
We will heed not what the wicked may say,
but the Lord alone we will obey."

Isn't that great. Our Heavenly Father is cheering us on. He is always on our side. We are never alone. This hymn creates an image in my head of when my dad and brothers would chase me down the sidelines at my soccer games. They would follow right behind shouting encouraging words and giving quick advice. That is how I feel about my Heavenly Father and my brother, Jesus Christ. They are always there cheering me on. I can imagine their cheers "Defense" or "Let's go Jenny, Let's go!" or their applause whenever I accomplish something. Simple thoughts like these are what keep me going from trial to trial.

The best part is that we are sent wonderful people to cheer us on in place of him in times of need. Among my many motivators is my dear friend, Benjamin Ross Taylor. As I have watched him get ready to leave on his mission, I have realized what a great cheerleader he has been for me. He has always encouraged me and always leaves me feeling better than before. I will be forever grateful for his friendship. This is my minuscule tribute to him.

Although we often have the rude tendencies to mock our sports cheerleaders, we should realize that the hidden cheerleaders in our lives can make the most difference on a daily basis and deserve to be recognized.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

story time

Today was a wonderful day. I finished my homework, read the newspaper (New York Times to be exact), played me some music, exercised, and learned. Can you believe that? I am going to school and I actually learned something. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t the lectures that taught me the most. I learned today that if you begin the day seeking to learn, you will. And on that note, let me tell you what I learned.

This quote was on the board in my choir class today:

“The limits you are living with right now, in every aspect of your existence, have been created by your mind. They are perceptions and they are holding you back. You are capable of far more than you think you are.”

I forgot to write down the author. Sorry. But that isn’t important. The important things are the words. I put limits around myself every day just by thinking “I can’t.” Those two simple words place skyscraping boundaries around everyone who says, feels, or thinks them. The only words strong enough to blow down these fences we create are “I know I can.” No little blue engine “I think I can’s” you have to know and believe the words “ I can.” Nothing instills faith in myself better than the knowledge that I know I am a daughter of God. I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows that I can. I am a divine daughter of God who can do all things. Period. And Nothing else matters. Nothing.

I know not everybody believes the same things I do, but despite that, you need to believe in yourself. Find something within yourself to hold onto. Your personal “I can.” If anything else, run these familiar lyrics through your head “No one to tell us no or where to go or say we’re only dreaming.” Believing in yourself is so important because you set your own limits. Truly, the only person capable of restricting your dreams from becoming realities is yourself. You have the power to write your own story. Whether you believe it is power from God, yourself, your leaders, your family, your friends, or anything. It is power.

In the movie, “August Rush”, Louis asks Lila, “What’s your story, Lila.”

And Lila responds. “I don’t know. I’m just me.”

I have the power to create my own story. And I am going to make sure that behind my name, there is one boundless, amazing story.

And that’s what Jenny thinks.