What's in your room?

So, it is the end of Winter semester down here at good ol' BYU. I have been kicked out of my old residence (Heritage Halls) and officially moved into my new apartment. I love my new apartment, by the way. There is infinite space for food, a large desk, and a roommate that wakes up before me. That means that I don't have to worry about how many times I press the snooze button. YES!

As I was unpacking my boxes of books, clothes, shoes, and junk, it was fun to find a place for everything. Naturally, I placed my clothes in the closet. My electronics found a place in a drawer underneath my bed. My toiletries safely made it into their own personal drawer in the bathroom, and my books are hanging out in a nice shelf next to my bed. Already, my desk drawer is cluttered with pens, pencils, and notes.

Mission: Organization, complete.

But with one glance at my blank walls told me that I wasn't finished. My desk and bed were covered with framed pictures, inspirational quotes, rubber duckies, and other memorabilia. What was I going to display on my wall? It may seem trivial, but it truly was a difficult decision for me. After much contemplation, rearranging, and shuffling around, I had completed my self portrait.
The pictures on my desk and around my room include pictures of my brothers, my parents, my home ward family, last year's yearbook staff, my harry potter team, and my closest friends. On one wall, I proudly hung my Gryffindor House Crest. Above my bed, I hung my recent fingerpainting masterpieces as well as Alli's beautiful cartoon version of me. I chose 5 rubberducks to bring with me and place on my shelf. Next to my computer sits a beautiful picture of Jesus Christ with the words "Be Not Afraid." Whatever I display on my shelves, walls, and desk is a representation of my personality, my values, my life. You can tell a lot about a person by examining their rooms, don't you think? What would you think of me by looking at my room I just described to you? Would you think I was religious? childish? messy? The things that hang on my walls, sit on my shelves and decorate my desk define me. Just like some people don't wear certain apparel because it is not "them" I would never choose to display something in my room that was not "me." My room is important. It is probably the best way to get to know me without actually talking to me or reading my journal. I feel like my room is the closest representation of my heart and soul.

So, after thinking about all of this, I wonder, What's in your room? What defines you?

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Instincts

Humans are born with the innate ability and desire to create. It is sad to realize that some people let their unique capabilities melt away as they sit in front of blazing screens, exercising their thumbs, and constantly filling their ears with noise. The amazing technology that floods our daily lives is overwhelming. Although technology can aide us in the creating process, it also proves to be a stumbling block. I often find myself glued to facebook when I could be practicing or writing - to forms of creation I thoroughly enjoy. These days, we are faced with a new decision - to create or not to create. That is the question. Like many other things, it seems easier to let everyone else do the creating and sit back, and enjoy the ride. But when we let our natural instincts take over, amazing things happen. I have witnessed the fruition of beautiful meals, inspiring art, passionate poetry, and graceful movement all in my very own cinder-block apartment. That is just my apartment. Can you imagine what the world has to offer? Everybody has something to bring to the table, and that is the true beauty of the world.

It is humbling to know that we are made after the image of the master creator, for He made all things well. Did you get that? He. Made. All. Things. Well. Therefore, we have the potential to make all things well. I recently watched The Dead Poets Society. The teacher says,

"The human race is filled with passion."

We are filled with the passion to create, to become, to discover. As humans, we are constantly striving to find our own life. Whether it be music, art, science, english, leadership, friendships, organization, athletics, food, fashion, ANYTHING. The possibilities are endless. So, in the words of the same teacher,

"The powerful play goes on and you make a tribute of verse. What will your verse be?"

Choose to fill your life. Don't leave this earth empty. Fulfill the measure of your creation.
And that's what Jenny thinks.

Obsess much?

So, this week, I am a bit obsessed with the enchanting Rodger's and Hammerstein musical, The Sound of Music. I've watched it about three times in the last four days. I am sure it will be the topic of my blog for the next few posts. Some may call me obsessed, or crazed, or say I am going through a phase. But I am here to clarify -

I am not obsessed.
I am not crazed.
And I this is most definitely not a phase.

You may now be asking, "What brings about this need to clarify, Jenny?" Well, let me tell you. I've been thinking (imagine that), why am I so prone to becoming passionate about silly things namely, Disneyland, Christmas music, Harry Potter, Sesame Street, and the Sound of Music? I don't know why my stomach does a back flip every time I hear the word "Disneyland." I don't know why I love singing Christmas music all year round. I don't know why children's music fills my soul with joy. I don't know why. But I do know that there is something exquisite that connects me to these things and more. It is almost as if Walt Disney created Disneyland, J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter, and Julie Andrews played Maria all just for me. These wonderful inventions of the imagination fill my soul until it is overflowing, I don't see how there could be anything left for everyone else to enjoy.

If anything else, this realization has helped me understand others' and their seeming "obsessions." Angela Monet said:

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."

Early morning joggers, non-chocolate-eaters - they aren't crazy, they are just human. They are dancing to their own sweet tune. And that is what makes life so tasty - we all provide our own flavors, our own story, our own song. Our own life. Earl Nightingale said:

"The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us on the path to its fulfillment."

I can shamelessly share my passions with the world for their messages include:

"Follow Your Dreams"
"Good triumphs over evil"
"Joy to the World"
"Find yourself"
"Nothing comes from nothing"
"Dreams do come true"
"Climb every mountain"
"Silent Night"
"Embrace the simple joys of life."

I know that as I embrace my silly passions, each and every one of these statements will become a reality.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Blind

I've seen the movie, Blindside, three times now, and it never gets old. I enjoy it every time and learn something new at each viewing. This time the term "blindside" particularly stuck out to me. At the beginning of the movie, Leigh Anne describes the roll of the left tackle position in football.

"And the left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming.
To protect his blindside."

Now, I have so many blindsides it is unbelievable. I can't always see who's feelings I've affected. I can't always tell when I am singing incorrectly. and I can't always see the consequences of my decisions. But despite all of my blindsides, I know I have a faithful left tackle to protect me. In fact, I have many. I have a friend who protects me from discouragement. I have a friend who protects me from emotional constipation. I have a friend who protects me from sadness and makes me laugh. I have a teacher who protects me from demoralization. I have a mentor that protects me from disappointment. I have an adviser who protects me from perfectionism. I can put a unique face with each one of these descriptions, but truly, all I need is one face to encompass all of the protection I receive from a loving Heavenly Father.

Later in the movie, Leigh Anne says to Michael:

"You're going to take care of me, right?"
And Michael responds:
"I got your back."

I am so grateful that I can go to sleep every night knowing that someone has got my back. I thank God daily for the blessings of teachers, mentors, friends, and family.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

I am a Woman

I grew up with three older brothers. Therefore, being a girl didn't seem so cool to me. When I was younger, I consciously avoided mentioning anything to do with girls especially when my brothers were around. When on the playground, I always wanted to be one of the boys. As I was growing up, I don't think I felt a strong sense of girlness. I still tried to hide any evidence of girly habits. I was proud of the fact that I spent only 5 minutes getting ready each morning (in fact, I liked to mock those girls who spent more than 5 minutes). Once I hit my teens, I realized how far behind I was, but didn't really want to admit that I cared. I don't think I was very proud of becoming a woman. To me, becoming a woman meant caring a lot about how I presented my self, aka wearing jewelry, high heels, make-up, behaving gracefully, and not laughing at obnoxious boy-scout jokes. Why in the world would I want to grow up to be a woman if it meant doing those things?

To this day, I avoid high heels at all costs, I prefer not to wear jewelry (especially the sparkly kind), and I still find hilarity in the occasional boy-scout-like humor. The difference between then and now, is that I understand what womanhood is truly about. It isn't about heels, jewelry, and make up. Womanhood is about giving into our natural abilities and instincts to comfort, uplift, listen, and love.

After the BYU Women's Chorus concert this weekend, a friend told a girl in the choir,

"You women are so powerful."

And that was all he said. He couldn't have said anything truer. In our rehearsal after our concert, we spent the whole time exchanging experiences that our families and friends shared with us. And they also proved that we, women, not only touched audience-members with our musical prowess, but also with our calming spirits. It is so amazing to be a part of Women's Chorus - 180 women, united by a love for music and a love for each other. I am so proud to be to be a woman. I am a woman with an innate ability to love, care, believe, encourage, and uplift. I am a woman with divine powers. I am a woman.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Fortress - dedicated to Spencer

This blogpost is dedicated to Spencer Thomas Birth. He voiced his concern for my blog - I have neglected it for quite some time. To be honest, I was concerned as well. But, I'm back! Whether you like it or not.

So, in my American Christianity class last week, we randomly began discussing architecture and how each building has a message and a deeper meaning. We began to examine Latter-day Saint temples that we were familiar with. In particular, we looked at the deep architectural meaning of the Salt Lake temple. For those of you who don't know, the mormons endured trial after trial as they moved further and further West. They had to leave multiple homes and relocate after many instances of intense persecution. With that in mind, my professor asked us what the Salt Lake temple reminded us of. After a handful of responses, Professor Fluhman said something like this:

"Buildings don't just happen by accident. The Salt Lake temple is a castle, a fortress. It wasn't going to go anywhere. It says something when you build a castle. It was almost as if the saints were saying, 'We are Mormons. Hear us roar!'
"

This particular statement hit me. Especially as I began to develop this metaphor. In my church, we are taught that our bodies are temples. If our bodies are temples, then according to Professor Fluhman, no human being happens by accident. We all have a purpose here, we all have a statement to make, we all have something only we can do. We have the potential to build ourselves like a castle. But we have a choice. We can choose to be a wasteland of anger, misery, and sadness or we can choose to be a fortress of goodness, happiness, and righteousness. Each act of service, each time we refrain from gossip, each time we support a friend, we are fortifying our own personal castles. As our fortress of righteousness builds up, we have the power to combine against any trial that may come our way. Knowing that I am building my own fortress instills in me a power to keep fighting. I am a castle. I am a fortress. I am Jennifer Anne Marie McKay. Hear me roar!

And that's what Jenny thinks.

WALT

So this week, I made a really obvious connection in my mind that I hope you made a long time ago. If you haven't made this realization, I am glad to enlighten you, but saddened by the fact that you are not smarter than me.

Dream: 1- a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep; a visionary creation of the imagination
When you are asleep and dreaming, anything is possible. You can jump off a cliff and live, you can fly, the big bad wolf from red ridinghood can attack you, aliens can invade, or you can be a rockstar. Seriously, in our dreams, the word "impossible" is non-existent. And the best part about "impossible dreams is that they are so real. You are in the moment, experiencing the emotions, the fright, the exhilaration, or the heartbreak.

Dream: 2- a strongly desired goal or purpose
As I have been exploring myself and my options for the future, I have come to the realization that not only have I forgotten my dreams, but I have also forgotten how to dream. I will now rant about Disneyland: It is basically my favorite. My favorite part about Disneyland is the spirit- the spirit of anythings is possible, the magic of it all. This spirit is amplified exponentially in the "Remember, Dreams Come True" fireworks show featuring Julie Andrew's soothing voice. Within this show, Jiminy Cricket says this,

" I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that, about a wish coming true, do ya? Well I didn't either. You see the most fantastic, magical things can happen, and it all starts with a wish! You know, any wish is impossible. All it takes is a little courage to set it free."

I had lost the courage to wish, to reach for the stars, to DREAM BIG. I had focused so much on what was possible and forgotten that with courage and magic (my special kind of magic) anything is possible. This week, I have been filled with a renewed vigor to dream the impossible dream. The two definitions of "dream" do not need to be separated. I can make my fantastical, seemingly impossible dreams become a reality. My sleep dreams dwell on the verge of impossibility, and that is where I will place my real dreams. At this time, I choose to keep my dreams to myself, but someday, when they come true, and they will, I will let you know. I leave you with one last inspirational lyric,

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish, I wish tonight.
We'll make a wish and do as dreamers do,
and all our wishes, will come true."

In a tribute to Walt Disney, a man who made his and millions of others' dreams come true let us all find courage within ourselves to wish upon a star that our wishes may come true.
And that's what Jenny thinks.