Suckers

Life is like a sucker.
It tastes good. Every lick, every moment leaves you wanting more.
Sugar dances on your tongue to your divine enjoyment.
But.....
It's hard. No matter how many times you lick a sucker, it's still hard. Delicious, but hard.
That's how I feel about life as of late. Yesterday, God gave me so many beautiful reminders that I really needed - I'm smart, beautiful, capable of making decisions, and just me. Just as I was beginning to think myself, "Self, Great day! I am so happy, I should get some icecream," God kindly interrupted my happy-icecream-thoughts with reminders that life is still hard.
Life is like a sucker.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Little do they know

Walking on campus, Puccini's La Boheme blasting in my ears. Students clamor around me. Little do they know that I am enraptured in a passionate duet of High C's and Italian accents. Little do they know I'M EXPERIENCING MAGIC, HERE!!!!

I never really use headphones that often. Actually, I am often disgusted at my generation's tendency to be constantly "plugged in." But after my musical experiences today, I think it is safe to say that you might see my head confined between those two little buds more often. Those earbuds carried me from my busy world to a magical place where all of the music was mine. I would like to repeat this experience as often as possible, thank you very much. I shall call it music-magic and it shall be mine and I shall call it my music-magic.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Still

His hand is outstretched
still.
After all of our sinning and mistaking, neglecting and forgetting.
still
His hand is outstretched.
still
He just waits for us to reach back.
still
Aren't we lucky?
still

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Mush

Why do I spend so much time reading blogs? I love reading words. Bloggers like Emily Janette, Taylor Ann and Courtney Jane create new word recipes almost every day. I can just eat them up. I sit there, tasting and experiencing their thoughts as if they were mine. And they are.

Until I draw my eyes away from their delicious words. At that moment, my own thoughts roller-coaster into my head. I quickly realize that I am not Taylor Ann, C. Jane, or Emily Janette. I am Jenny. My thoughts swim too quickly to be caught and made into a delicious recipe of words.

I am Jenny the wanna-be-blogger-with thoughts that swim too fast, and a life that doesn't slow down. Despite my speed, I must put down my thoughts and make them into something - mush(a soft or soggy mass) or perhaps, someday, filet mignon. So here it is - mush. And it will probably always be mush. But it's my mush.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Night time

As I was flying over the US of A on my way to Delaware, I realized that I much prefer the night time to day time. But then I wondered, does that mean that I love darkness? Darkness isn't usually associated with goodness. Should I like night better? Shouldn't I like light? But then, I quickly had another realization. The reason that I love night so much, is that it accentuates the night.

The glory of the moon and twinkling stars wouldn't exist without the darkness of the night. Without the bad in our life, we wouldn't appreciate the goodness. Opposition is so frustrating, but oh-so important. So I am grateful for the night and its mystical darkness, that I might more fully enjoy the brilliance of light.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Flash

Whenever I watch musical flash mob videos like these

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr-0n1oGG8E


I almost start to cry. I don't know why, but tears well up in my eyes, my hair stands up, and my heart pounds. There is something about music bringing the world together. Young and old, male and female, republican and democratic, etc. - All of them come together to create a magical moment. Someday, I will participate in one. And when I do, I know it will make a difference. It is the little, crazy joys - like flash mobs- that make life worth living.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

A Rose by Any Other Name

Three hours of pure emotion = BYU's fantastic production of Romeo and Juliet. The movement, the characters, the set - it was all so dramatically wonderful. I think I inhaled beauty.

After a discouraging week, I headed to the theatre by myself. The intense emotions refreshed my spirit and filled me with energy. Concerts, plays, musicals, anything where human expression is key - they all bring me great pleasure.

In my culture, the LDS culture that is, we emphasize the importance of moderation in all things. While this may be good when it comes to things like icecream, video games, or spending money, what would we do without those artists who are not afraid to express themselves way beyond moderation. Too often, I find myself holding back, fearing what other people think of me. But the reality is, how does one survive in moderation. If we refuse to be passionate, what is left in this world. Without passion, what are we? Humans monitor themselves and watch their steps. It keeps us so busy, that we forget the essence of who we are. We forget that there are real, passionate beings underneath our shell of self-consciousness.

That's what I loved about Romeo and Juliet. They didn't waste time watching their steps. They took risks. They felt so deeply and passionately expressed those feelings. And as a result, they gave life to the human beings in the audience. I am grateful for those artists who take risks and express. They make me feel real. I hope to be one some day.

And that's what Jenny thinks.