All my trust

Today was an answer to prayers. A productive day, filled with things to do, places to go, people to see. It was nice to visit campus again and feel at home - with a purpose and peers I recognized. It was nice to chat with a good friend who had nothing else to do but chat with me.

As I drove home, relishing in the goodness of the day, I listened to some awesome country music. Like this

Nothing better. I glanced a little to the left to see this.


I call them, "Joseph Smith Rays." Magical. I glanced in my mirrors and saw this.



A magical rainbow. They were both put there as a confirmation that things will get better and everything is alright. He is looking out for me.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Infancy

I wish I was a baby. When a baby is presented with something new, he/she has no fear of exploration and discovery.

In contrast, when I am presented with a new situation, fear wells up in my stomach, my mind races with self-conscious worries, and I begin to doubt everything I knew before.

Therefore, I wish I was a baby.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

This summer is just another chapter

I'm feeling a bit lost for words, and overwhelmed by teary emotions I approach the end of my summer. "My summer" because I owned this summer. So many firsts, so much learning, hard decisions, growth, changes, and, of course, a ridiculously large amount of partying.

I'm nearly brought to tears thinking about becoming Beatrice and weekly trips to Trafalooga. I can hardly stand the number of goodbyes I spent. My stomach flutters when I think of new relationships I formed and relationships the merely grew. Sadness drowns my heart when realize that the Villa is no longer "home." That my friends don't live next door. That there isn't Macey's icecream just down the street. That nothing will ever be the same.

Nothing will ever be the same.

That's a hard truth to swallow. And I find myself having to swallow it more and more every day. But I must swallow hard, digest, and move forward. I'm definitely not the same woman I was 3 months ago. I am stronger and smarter. I can face the world before me with new knowledge and insight. I can do this...

...but not without a few tears and quick glance back at the magical summer that brought me to this point.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

How to

How to tell when you are happy/living life to its fullest:

You don't have time to read from your humongous blog-list. And you don't care. You are much too content in your own life to try to enjoy another someone's life for even five minutes. All you care to do is relish in your own happiness and joy and then write about exactly that.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Somewhere more familiar

The other day, I was listening to my friend describe her road trip home to Ohio. As she was driving through Indiana, she began to cry. The surroundings and environment were so familiar to her that she felt like she was home, even though she wasn't. Yet.

As I was sitting there my brain was freaking out
*Attention. Attention. Life Metaphor. This is a Life Metaphor. Attention.*

While we are away from our Heavenly home, we often see and feel things that bring so much peace, and we wonder why. Well, I know why. It reminds us of home, heaven, our Heavenly Father.
Oceans, animals, music, friends, family, words - all of them are put here to remind us of a more familiar place. I can't wait to go home.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Road Map

Today, I had the fabulous opportunity to sing in a masterclass, where the master was Dolora Zajick. While she may not be the most endearing person, she definitely motivates you to become better. Within 12 minutes of working with me, she bluntly told me, "You are a self-protected person. You need to loosen up and let it all hang out."

I wanted to say, "Really?! How'd you guess?" with a very sarcastic tone in my voice. I think every teacher of mine has come to this conclusion in a similar, ridiculously short, amount of time.

Ms. Zajick was right. Yes, I am a very self-protected, self-conscious person. It comes with my horrible perfectionist mentality. I've known this for years, and now she knows. What she doesn't know is where I've been and how far I've come.

It got me thinking. Wouldn't it be nice if every time you met someone, they also handed you a road map of where they've been and where they are headed?

But then again, relationships wouldn't be necessary and getting to know someone would be superfluous. The mystery and discovery of the "relationship" process would be lost completely. But just thinking about this idea motivates me to find out more about who my friends really are. Where have you been? What makes you the person you are today? Think for a second or two.

And that's what Jenny thinks.

Tag, you're it!

Do you remember when you were little and you would play tag? There was a home base, or just a "base" where no one could harm you. No one could touch you. Some kids wouldn't leave the base for fear of getting caught. But most kids were satisfied running around and coming home occasionally to catch their breath.

Last night, I caught my breath. I love all of my friends, and each helps me in an extraordinary way. But I will always have a home base - friends I can turn to, be safe with, and return to the world, running with renewed courage. It doesn't matter that we haven't seen each other in months or even years. And it especially doesn't matter when our lives change so much, you're not sure it will ever be the same. It's not the same, it's better, like cheese or wine (so I've heard).

Every day, I am left to wonder what I did to be blessed with so many wonderful friends. As Julie Andrews sings in the sound of music,
"I must have done something good."

And that's what Jenny thinks.